The Honey Do List

I have never considered myself to be handy, at all. I am so bad at trying to get stuff done around the house that I have a celebratory beer when I successfully hang a picture on the wall! I have unsuccessfully attempted closet shelves, flooring, painting the bathroom, fixing a leaky floor, removing the foundation of a shed and a few other projects that have been left unfinished or done poorly.

Failure after failure I started to ponder how it is possible that I could get anything right! On almost every little project there was someone on YouTube who could get what I wanted done in like a blink of an eye. I would try to mimic their technique for hours to absolutely no success. I would read instructions, follow directions, fail, try my own technique, fail, review videos on-line, fail, and then finally give up.

All of this frustration created a nice long Honey Do list that we would add project after project to, with no items being crossed off, since I was afraid to even try them.

That all changed once we learned of our growing tribe. We now had a deadline to get everything on that list done (and of course we had to add a few new items). Weekend after weekend the do it your self attitude in me has been growing more and more confident. Failure is no longer an option! I have installed closet organizers, painted several rooms, hung up advanced wall hangings (shelves, mirrors, pictures), I have updated our door locks, and I have more on the list to do! Almost everything on the list has been met with success, not necessarily on the first try, but success in the end. Now I feel like no project is too big! Bring it on! I was even considering taking the do it your self attitude to some vet work needed on the cat (Sarah stopped that before it got too far).

I am not saying that I could build my house or anything, but I am less likely to look for the handy man's phone number before I tap into my inner weekend warrior first. By the time this kid is born, I will be able to take my skills to the next level and may put together the crib and set up the pack and play, but those skills are still a few months away!

Hijacked

Occasionally, once every few months or so, the social calendar falls in such a way that the wife has other plans, and a night with my fellow men occurs. Man night, guys night, some men call it poker night or bowling night (likely because they play those games). It is always a good time, where we revert back to the childish jokes and pranks that get us in trouble with our better halves. For the most part, Man Night is like Vegas, and what happens on Man night is not discussed much with those who were not there (that is part of Guy Code).

One thing did however get out from Man Night. As the night proceeded, and alcohol and testosterone got the better of everyone's judgement, my Facebook was hijacked by my fellow men. A posting was put out there about male breastfeeding, which gave us all a good laugh. I realize today however that many people have taken the posting quite seriously. I even got some pretty good sources of information about how to make this a reality.

I figured I would set the record straight. As much as I am appreciative of those who have given support to the idea, I am not sure I am up for man breast feeding, mostly because I am a hairy guy and I think there is some logistical issues I would not be able to work out. I can bond with the child in other ways, and I am sure in the early stages I will bond with him/her while changing the dirty diapers.

What seemed to be a window into my father-to-be emotions in that posting was really the out come of hours of drinking and what was a golden opportunity for my mates to play a little prank. So now we can see how the new technologies and the phenomenon of social media continues to touch the different aspects of our society, even showing its reach to the coveted Man Night.

Team Pink vs. Team Blue

Sarah and I decided really early that we would not find out what the baby is (boy or girl). We feel pretty strongly that it is one of life's little surprises. This is uncharacteristic of us, I mean we are two people who exchange Christmas gifts in mid December. I have been known to give Sarah gifts with the bag from the store as the wrapping paper. I have been at the store with Sarah to get some of my gifts!

Putting gifts and surprises aside, Sarah is also a planner. She enjoys having everything in place well ahead of time, and arrives just a bit early if not right on time for everything. Despite all of these things, we are leaving it a mystery until he/she is born.

The big question remains then, since we do not what little junior is, are you on team pink or team blue. I have thought from the beginning, that it is a boy. I find though that there are not too many people on team blue. I have been told by co-workers and friends things like, "you think it is a boy because you are a man and that is what all men want". I really don't know why I think it is a boy, but I do. Almost no one else does, everyone else has a feeling, or just thinks it is going to be a girl.

I have tried to use data and statistics to see if I can't determine boy or girl. All of the babies in my family born of the next generation have so far been girls, so it seems likely a boy is to come soon. However, most of my friends with children have had boys, so a girl is also likely. I come from a family of two boys and a girl, Sarah a family of three girls, so four girls and two boys, odds are we have a boy then right? Or does that mean odds are we have a girl. Then there is the thread and needle test, the Chinese Lunar Calendar, the heart rate, the wife's symptoms, all being analyzed to determine if it is a boy or girl. Alas I have no clue, but I will stick with team blue.

In the end it is just plain exciting to think about meeting the little one, and I will be happy no matter what. I just keep on talking to junior through Mom's belly, trying to keep him/her up to date on pop culture and the latest news and providing trivia so he/she can defeat Watson on Jeopardy some day in future.

The Night Owl

I can't really remember many nights that my parents went to bed before I did. In fact the usual sounds that I fell asleep to as a kid were the distant sounds of late night TV, and my parents occasional laughter at the late night talk shows. As I got older I grew to also have the Macedo Insomnia. I usually fall asleep well after my wife falls asleep. Night time is Joe time in the house. It is when I can watch some good comedy, get in some gaming, maybe even catch a good movie. I come up with inventions, read about crazy alien moon bases on the internet and figure out how to run for President of the United States (I lose a lot of the details by morning though, so none of that stuff goes to far). I am not sure how this will work out with with the tribe's new arrival. In the first few months I see this as an advantage. Since I enjoy being up so late, I should have no problem doing late night duty with the baby right? Mornings could get problematic. I am already not the greatest morning person. Especially when we do the early morning workouts, I mean I can go for a 5 mile run at 5:00 AM and only remember the last 2 miles.

One of my little fears about the new arrival is how I am going to deal with the mornings. My wife leaves for work almost two hours before I do. This means that I will be in charge of the morning routine. I briefly mentioned this in a previous post, but I still don't have a clue how I am supposed to manage taking care of the little one in the morning, and get in my nice long hot shower!! I hear there are swings or seats that can keep junior busy while I shower, or I suppose I can train the animals to watch junior. I am starting to realize that these showers are the least of my early morning worries. I am a night owl. I have the whole night to shower, but getting us out of the house on time for day care and work, that is going to be the real challenge.

I have my morning routine mastered down to the minute. Workout, breakfast, coffee, iron cloths, take nice long hot shower, leave with exactly enough time so that I walk out of the elevator at 9:00. I am going to have to dress another human, probally change the diaper a few times. I know I will get totally side tracked playing with junior's toy train or oversized legos, and before I know it is 9:30, I am not shaved and baby has nothing but a diaper on!!

I'm driving, so I control the radio

I remember when my dad used to drive me around all the time. Whether it was to school, shopping at Ann & Hope or just driving us kids one place or another, he had one rule. "I am driving, so I control the radio". This persistent rule led me to have a strong appreciation for classic rock (since my dad was a big fan of the genre). This has got me thinking, can I enjoy the great music of my childhood, while driving my child around? Or is that inappropriate?

One of the major issues with this, is the difference in my dad listening to the tunes he grew up to, and me listening to mine. I grew up during an era when hip-hop music was breaking into mainstream radio and Rock and Roll was splitting off into to sub genres like alternative and hardcore. I enjoyed artists from Run DMC, Cypress Hill, Snoop Dogg to Nirvana and Nine Inch Nails. I also am part of the original MTV generation, that group watching, imagine this, music videos playing on MTV. That being said, some of the greatest songs of my time, may not be something I really want to explain the meaning of to my child. To make things worse, I have been blessed with the invention of digital music downloads and a music player in my car with uncensored songs and no commercials!

Let's dive into an example. One of my favorite songs to enjoy in my vehicle as I drive to work is Snoop Doggy Dogg's Gin & Juice. This song literally starts with the audible sounds of some one taking what sounds like a drunken piss. The song is a classic Dr. Dre beat, with a showcase of what made Snoop famous. A classic. However, how do I play this song in my car with my child, and then explain to them that it really is not okay to go cruising down the street, smoking and drinking!

I suppose it will take a few years before Junior to understand these lyrics. I was actually thinking of introducing Junior to some music while he/she is in the oven, but I think it will be edited to classical music.